The Bar Episode aka "That's the last time we can go in there"

It isn't always successful. Roger can't always hold his cool about being Leviathan.

A couple nights after the thwarted bank robbery we were out at our favorite bar. Roger still was euphoric about "crushing the robber where he stood!" While I was just grateful the cops hadn't come knocking at either one of our doors demanding to know why a high profile staff member to our congressman was gallivanting in spandex in public.

Roger is a charmer anyway, he has to be to be moving up in politics the way he is. When Roger drinks he's even more generous with compliments, and though I learned long ago it's mostly the alcohol talking and though I sometimes get taken in still, it is amusing to watch. He's forgotten about me sitting on his right and instead is putting the moves on the college girl to his other side. She's way too young for him and sober he wouldn't have stood a chance. Luckily for him they're both so drunk they're practically holding each other up, forehead to forehead over the bar top.

I can only hear every few words, catching "yer eyes ser so perty, deep lichk a meadoo." at least twice. Next time I look over they're kissing. All tongue, saliva, and lots of side to side head movement. More licking each others' faces rather then kissing. For some reason I'm reminded of cows. I catch the eye of the girl's friend across the way. She has a pitying expression on her face. At first I think it's for her friend. I get a little miffed, he's not that bad! Then I realize she's pitying me. Oh.

I know how it must look to outsiders. Guy and girl come into bar together. Guy ignores girl and started chewing on other girl's face. It would appear that I've been blown off. It happens occasionally. And occasionally I'm the one that hooks up with someone in the bar. Sometimes. Ok, yes most of the time it's Roger that will leave with someone else, but he's trying more. I prefer to sit, drink my beer, and yearn for a smoke rather then pit my self esteem against male ego. Don't get the wrong idea. Neither one of us is having a bunch of one-night-stands. We do usually try to date the people. Not one has lasted more than three weeks.

Roger suddenly stands up, placing his hand on each of our shoulders he leans his head between the cow girl and me. "Is gotta pees." And he stumbles to the back of the bar towards the restroom. I sit drinking my beer and wonder how the girl will react if she ever finds out that Roger sits down to pee more often then not, especially when drunk.

A minute or two goes by when I hear a large yell from the back of the bar. There's a man taking exaggerated strides, holding his arms widely to his sides, and he's yelling my name. "Sam! I forgot and washed my hands!"

Oh shit. Roger usually uses hand sanitizer to 'prevent' something like this from occurring. Roger now thinks he's Leviathan.

"Fear not, bar patrons!" He bellows. "I will do my best not to crush you. Just stand aside." The others in the bar are staring, trying to work out if he's serious or just seriously drunk.

I put down my beer, throw enough to cover our tab at the bartender, smile at the cow girl, "Well, okay then. See ya." Grabbing my purse and Roger's overcoat, I slide off the stool. Acting as a ramp agent guiding a plane to the terminal I steer Roger out the door and into the night.

"She was pretty," Roger yells down at me (I am quite a bit shorter then him anyway, but he thinks I'm far far away at the moment).

"Yes, she was."

"Maybe I can go back and get her number?"

"No, I think that's the last time we can go in there."